I wish that those two words were enough for you to understand exactly what it is that I'm feeling after reading this book.
This isn't your typical girl falls in love with the boy next door - or your good girl falling madly in love with the bad boy and straightening him up.
This story is full of so much gutt wrenching pain. Literally. Even as I sit here thinking about the characters, I can't help but feel sad and hurt over what they went thru.
We first meet Ellie. Her POV is in the present time. We know she was a trouble maker (I don't even think that that word is good enough to describe her). We know that she has served time in Juvie. The entire time I kept trying to figure out why though (Don't worry, I won't spoil it for you!). We do know that she had a very troubled and painful life as a little girl, someone that was carted around in the foster system.
"I had stopped feeling sorry for myself by the time I had entered my third foster home at the age of seven. The tears had dried up. Emotions packed away. The need to survive at all costs taking their place."
I had to put my Kindle down and walk away as the tears rolled down my face. It pained me to learn this about her. She was trying to survive in the fucked up life that she had.
Then we meet Flynn. We do know that he is different. And by that I mean he has Asperger's. He has no social skills whatever and is extremely particular. He's smart though. And he is artistic. He also has no emotions and doesn't really know how to read others emotions. He gets picked on when he's in high school. Like BADLY. Did I mention that his POV is from when he's in high school? Right. That there breaks my heart. I hated how he was treated. I wished I could have reached inside my Kindle and strangled every single one of those kids that hurt him.
I was very impressed at how the author developed the romance.
"Seeing him again up close was like being sucker punched in the jaw. It wasn't pleasant. He stirred up memories I didn't have time to think about. I didn't have the emotional capacity to allow myself the pain and grief a normal person would have felt. Because you see, I wasn't normal either. We were a perfect, messed up pair, Flynn and I. We always had been."
As fucked up as it sounds I was rooting for Ellie and Flynn to be able to work past their troubled past. Because there was one. A major one.
They had a relationship which was surprisingly beautiful. Ellie was able to "deal" with Flynn whenever he had meltdowns. She was the ONLY person that was able to physically touch him. And surprisingly enough, he wanted to touch her as well (If you know anyone with Asperger's or Autism, you KNOW what a HUGE deal this is).
"His fingers trembled in mine but he didn't pull away. Our hands were joined together, his arm stretched out in front of him. He didn't move any closer. We did nothing to close the distance between us but his palm pressed against mine was more intimate than if he had been holding me."
I think that the author did an amazing job with this book. I've only read two other books by her, and I enjoyed them just as much as this one. There were times where I had to stop reading because the emotions pouring out of those words were just too much.
"He lifted his head and swept his dark hair out of his face. His eyes flitted around the room until he saw me. And he grinned. His heart in his eyes. He was more than amazing. He was amazing."
I went to bed thinking about Flynn and Ellie and the fucked up world that they lived in. I lived that they both tried their best to overcome the obstacles that were in front of them. From Ellie actually going to college and trying to get an education to Flynn moving away from his comfort zone and teaching.
I absolutely loved this book. I do have to admit that I HATE Dania. With a passion. What she did is just wrong and unforgivable.
Either way, I'll definitely be re-reading this book again.
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